Christian Living, Finding Peace, Prayer

my big but

if you’re a church kid, i bet you can hear the sound of hands clapping in rhythm, at just the mention of the words “and if our god is for us” clap clap clap “then who could ever stop us” clap clap clap  “and if our god is with us” clap clap clap “that what could stand against” clap clap clap clap.

we know the song.

we raise our hands.

we shout “yes, lord”

do we know it’s true- i mean, for real.

for my part, any way- it’s a struggle.

not believing that the good lord had my back (and front and side to side) but to know he is unstoppable.

if i honestly answer that question: what could ever stop us….for my part any way, an answer would be…me.

i can stop us…i can sure stop me.

what do you mean “i can stop me”? aren’t you clapping and singing right along at church? yep.

don’t you believe what god says in his word? yep. sure do.

but…

 it’s not just fitness magazines that try to shame the big butt….i want to banish the big but when it comes to believing and trusting god.

example: i trust the lord for my friends healing, but…she’s still sick.

or

i trust the lord can restore my friends marriage, but…she’s crying her eyes out tonight.

or

i feel god is calling me to submit to my husbands authority, but…i want to tell him what time it is.

or

i know that t.v. show is wrong for my kids to watch, but…everyone in the class watches it.

or

i’m excited for my book to come out, but…i’m afraid of what the church ladies will think of my messed up life.

you know what the common link is in all that mess?

me

not

trusting.

i trust you, god.

i

trust

in

you.

do you totally get what the man in mathew is on about when he says “i believe. help my disbelief.”

help us, lord.

help me to remember that as we clap clap clap my hands at church on sunday…you rejoice-

no but’s about it.

what is the sound of 1 hand clapping? i think i may be a hand raised in worshipful surrender

 and you, lord, giving a holy high 5.

DSC07957

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “my big but”

  1. I was watching an interview with 50 Cent where he said his grandmother always told him “Pray or worry. Don’t do both.” I love that saying. Put your trust in the Lord and let him do the rest. Have faith your problems are solved just for the asking. I try. But my buts get in the way. God has pulled me out of deep despair and misery so many times that I shouldn’t have a moments doubt or hesitation. But still to just trust, relax and breathe instead of constantly sweating the details is hard sometimes. I have to remember that the things that seem like mountains to me are pebbles to him.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s